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Tom Jones

Facts

Real Name:- Tom Jones

Industry :- Music - Cr*p

A'hole rating:- 10/10

Well, it's time for the third A**ehole in the series and this time the book falls with aging 'hipster' Tom Jones.

Hopefully I'm upsetting more and more people as the days progress and this goes to those of you to the West, in other words, the Welsh. Well, I've insulted the Americans...twice and now I think it's about time I began to look more towards home. Of course I'm not going to insult the mighty English, or the Irish, or indeed the Scots, so who do I insult. Well, the French are too easy and common a target...not many people look towards the drawl-speaking, sheep-loving Welshmen. Well, come on, what good did they produce? Tom Jones? Laughable. The police constable from Heartbeat? A cracking achievement. In fact, the only half-decent Welsh production in my eyes is Catatonia who have quite a rhythm, although Cerys Matthews seems to have her own style of singing. Plus, take a look at Vinny Jones...a complete and utter nutter, who is actually quite wooden when he's treading the boards.

Whilst America, China and Russia are working on Nuclear weapons, I've been assured the Welsh are making good progress in their hi-tech lab in Llangolen on developing the real life equivalent of the Sheep Bomb from the PC game Worms. Also, I've been assured the Irish have patented the Banana Bomb.

Well, anyway, back to the 'Voice of Jones.' Oh my god, apparently that's his nickname in Wales, what an imaginative bunch! Wow, why did no-one else think of that. Of course,

what it must mean is that all Welshmen are called Jones (not suggesting for any minute that you're inbreds, if there are any Welsh reading this) and that he, somehow, represents their voice, apparently. If, of course you are interested in any of that. go to www.tomjones.com, or, my personal favourite www.tomjonesistheman.com. Honestly I'm not kidding, that's a real website.

Well, me and my girlfriend are united on this one...no matter how good or bad any of his future releases are, he has and continues to exploit the talented youth to get himself a hit. He has done duets with Robbie Williams, Mousse T, Heather Small, Stereophonics to name just a few. In fact, a whole album has been dedicated to re-hashes of songs that Tom Jones has done with the youth of today. And he pretends that he is doing them a favour...in fact their producing him with his pension money. STOP IT NOW...we'll be starting soon a campaign for no more Tom Jones songs.